Choose Love Over Fear - Magical Guest Writer•
Posted on May 25 2018
Picture this - you start your day off right, you’re well-rested, you have a nutritious breakfast prepared, you love what you’re wearing, you’re energized for a productive day - basically, you’re PUMPED. And then what happens? Coffee spills on your shirt, a terrible traffic jam, a stressed-out coworker that can’t stop venting. And suddenly all those good vibes you created have vanished.
Despite having the best of intentions, our hopes for positivity can get waylaid by Life’s many obstacles. Boundaries get pushed, plans go awry, and people blame you for problems that are theirs and theirs alone. All of these circumstances are outside of your control, which can make it easier or harder to swallow, depending on how you look at it.
Fortunately, the one thing in control is yourself. For better or worse, you are stuck with yourself. How you respond to these circumstances dictates not only the rest of your day but that week/month/year. Over time, our beings learn patterns and if you supply a pattern of positivity, over time you create a positive life.
And this is the art of resilience. Taking setbacks and choosing to see them as to-be-determined opportunities. Getting turned down for a job, but pushing onwards to the next application. A heartbreaking end to a relationship, but continue to stay open to the next person you meet. These are not actions we are inherently good at. Instinctively, we are taught to go on the defense - to protect ourselves from threats and danger. As complex a creature as we’ve evolved to be, our minds have not fully adapted from the fight or flight mentality of our ancestors. It is instinct to close up when we have been rejected; it’s instinct to go on the defense when we experience criticism. The challenge and growth come when we choose the path less traveled -that of love, and not fear.
It’s fear-inducing to not be able to find work. It’s fear-inducing to realize you have to let go of a relationship that’s become toxic. And it’s important to note that choosing love in these situations instead of fear doesn’t make them any less painful or scary - this shift is happening in purely your outlook on it.
So how do we do this? In the instance of letting go of an unhealthy relationship, we choose Love for ourselves as we define what types of people we do and don’t need in our lives. When a job opportunity doesn’t come through, we choose to see it with Love and get creative in finding the next opportunity. And this practice applies in smaller circumstances too! When we hit red light after red light on our commute, we can choose not to be frustrated and instead use the time to call a friend or listen to a favorite podcast. Best friend cancels on your evening plans last minute? Use it as a night to step up your self-care game.
Don’t be dismayed when this practice is challenging. You are literally re-wiring your brain here, and that takes work! Staying present in the situation and asking yourself, ‘how can I see this with love?’ is the mark of a warrior who values herself and chooses to see her life with positivity and possibility.