Step 1 - Re-discovering Yourself

Written by Dragana Ivanovska


Posted on February 07 2019

It’s really astonishing how complicated yet simple you can be. Especially when it comes to giving yourself the love that you deserve. When you think about it, the concept of self-love is really easy to understand, logical and necessary to lead a healthier, more fulfilling life, and yet you are not implementing self-love into your life. Because the way things are in society at the moment, it’s no wonder that a lot of you are being detached from themselves. While you are responsible for yourself, don’t forget that you are human, and humans are social beings. And society, whether we like it or not, has a huge impact on all of us. So, how can you fix this? How can you become better?

You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.

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With that detachment growing larger and larger every day, you forget that while your precious family, friends and life partners are all amazing people that you want to passionately learn more about, you are just as amazing – you are simply not giving yourself enough credit. Well, all of that has come to an end. Today we are starting the first step towards your self-love transformation. To make it easier, we broke it into a few smaller steps, exercises and rituals. Here we go:

1. Explore Yourself

As we already mentioned, detachment from yourself is a major issue when it comes to self-love. After all, how can you love someone that you don’t really know? We know you are there, you know your thoughts, you know what lies on your soul, but have you really explored yourself? Have you really tried to dig within and tried to learn more about yourself? Or, as usual, have you been brushing yourself off as someone unworthy of your attention, repressing everything inside, and rushing off into a new task filled day? If you are guilty on all charges, don’t worry because there are a few ways that you can break off the negative cycle. Here is a simple exercise:

* The love/hate list

Grab a piece of paper and a pen. We recommend that you light up some soothing, nourishing incense like lavender or Angel Love because sometimes, it can be really harsh to do these lists, but don’t worry we will take it easy, step by step. Relax a bit, take a deep breath and let’s start.

List N1: Write down one characteristic that you hate about yourself.

List N2: Write down three negative thoughts that you had about that characteristic.

List N3: Write down three negative emotions that you had related to that characteristic.

Okay, now that you have it all out – it’s time to transform them. You have to brainstorm and find one positive aspect for each item on the list.

For example, I personally am the clumsiest person alive. Yes, it’s silly, but I have judged myself so harsh about this and I have felt ashamed, humiliated and so disappointed in myself – I cannot even begin on the thoughts that I had about myself. My positive aspect when doing this exercise was that my clumsiness brought smiles even on the saddest faces sometimes. It was freeing, because I accepted that I will be clumsy no matter what, but instead of focusing on the negative aspects – shame, humiliation, and disappointment – I will focus on the smiles and laughter. Furthermore, even when I am home alone and have one of the “accidental acrobatics” – instead of starting that negative cycle, I just start laughing at myself.

We recommend you do this exercise daily until you can’t think of anything bad to say about yourself because it really helps you gain a different perspective about yourself. It sheds a little light on how harsh you are being to yourself sometimes for no reason at all.

2. Understand Yourself

Now, it’s important to not just explore but rather understand yourself and why you do these injustices to yourself. You need to know who you really are and understand yourself to truly plant the seeds of self-love within yourself. We have an interesting exercise to share with you to help you understand yourself better:

*Question Yourself

Ask yourself these simple 3 questions:

- Who Am I? (Write down 5-10 characteristics about yourself)

- Who do I want to become?

- Do I judge myself or am I accepting other’s judgment on myself?

Give it some time and think about each question carefully and try to write down your answers.

Then, have a conversation with the closest people in your life. Ask them how they see you and how they would describe you.

Then go back to the answers and compare – how harsh were you to yourself? Were you closer to the person that you wanted to become than you thought you were?

3. Cleanse Yourself

And now, that you have explored and seen that there is so much more to you and you really started to understand yourself better, it’s time for a little cleansing ritual:

We always love to kick off our any ritual or self-healing activity with a little mood setting. First, let’s cleanse the energy around you. We like to light up some Palo Santo Wood Stick to neutralize anything yucky hanging around us, but you can also use some sage. Remember to imagine anything that does not serve you flying far far away from you.

Next, we like to light up some candles to help us set the mood for understanding ourselves better and having more compassion for ourselves. We like to use the Soy Herbal Filled Healing Candle.

Bring your focus to the candle and imagine a lotus growing there and removing away anything that doesn’t belong. This lotus can be white or a beautiful yellow color. Imagine it growing bigger and stronger, moving in pulsing just wiping away your insecurities, fears, and blocks. Allow the lotus to cleanse you of any negative patterns that you are stuck in.

Next, we like to invite our crystal buddies to help us do even deeper cleansing and an awakening of self-love. A few that we would recommend using are:

  • Clear Quartz – Cleanses negative vibes

  • Orange Calcite - Banish laziness and creative blocks

  • Gold Tiger Eye - Restores balance between opposing forces inside you and helps you to see the bigger picture.

  • Rose Quartz – Gentle, nourishing energy that promotes self-love

Close your eyes and clear your mind. Feel the fiery rays of energy growing within you, reigniting your magic and awakening your true personal power. Write an affirmation or intention you wish for these crystals to help you plant. Some sample affirmations are:

  • I am confident. I release the judgment of others.

  • I embody confidence and inner peace.

  • I am deserving.

  • I use my power for good.

  • I believe in myself.

  • I am free from the need to always be right.

  • I am free from the limitations of others.

  • I am free from power struggles.

  • I am loving.

  • I am experiencing infinite self-love.

  • I am worthy of love.

Breathe in and breathe out. Now that you have finished your cleansing ritual whenever you feel like you are sliding back into the patterns of negativity light up your candle, your incense or use your crystals and affirmations. Don’t forget to cleanse your crystals once a week!

Tune in to our Blog to follow every step of the Self-Love Transformation Challenge!



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