Who Were You Before You Were Mom?•
Posted on February 26 2019
Ahhh…. The dreadful question that seems to stir around my brain at all hours; Who was I before I was Mom?
I’ll admit, I didn’t always see myself as someone who would have a family. The struggle of coming to terms with the role change was beyond real. I felt like all of a sudden I had this whole new world I was living in, except it was a world I knew nothing about. Nothing is more trying than parenthood and especially when you wear the label “Mom”. You have this tiny human who requires (literally) all of your energy. All of your strength. And all of your time. I cannot even count the number of times I have said to myself, and others, “I’m just not cut out for this life!!!!”
But I am cut out for this. And so are you. We, as women, are the powerhouses of reproduction. Not only are we given this amazing physical body that helps to create new life, but we also carry, grow and birth that new life. How fricken fabulous is that?! SO FABULOUS!
It’s so fabulous that between the diaper changes, the lack of showers, the million toys (and, likely, food) we’re tripping over, the half-burnt dinner that didn’t quite turn out as planned, the endless laundry, the people who “just don’t get it” and our own internal voice screaming “WHEN DOES IT ALL END?!”, we forget that we are also our own human. Before we were Mom, we had an identity. We had a voice. We had hobbies and passions and things that we did for ourselves. We even had our own name. And guess what? It wasn’t Mom!
For me, this has been an endless struggle. I am constantly torn between being Me and being Mom. There seems to be a never-ending battle of mental thoughts between needing so badly to take a break and then feeling guilty if I do. It’s almost as if I feel like I don’t deserve it, despite how badly I know I need it.
This is why it’s so important for us to remember that we were ourselves before we were anything else. We need to remember how important it is to love ourselves, forgive ourselves, care for ourselves and stay on top of ourselves. We need to make sure we pamper ourselves and we give ourselves the best self-love that we can because ultimately we are the only ones responsible for doing so. And because we DO deserve it! We all have to own the Queen inside of us so that we can not only be there for ourselves but for our children as well. Our personal wellness matters the most!
I can already feel the raised eyebrows for what I’m about to say next: Above all others, we are number one. And before we get our panties in a knot and assume that by putting ourselves first, that means we are putting everyone else last; that’s not what I am here to imply. What I mean is that it is so incredibly important for us to love, nourish and care for ourselves so that we can continue to be the powerhouse of our children’s lives. We need to lead by example, with grace and strength, so that we can raise other powerhouses!
So, today, I ask that you take a moment to not only give yourself a gigantic pat on the back for being a kick-ass Mom but also to take a moment to reflect on YOU.
What do you look like? What are you drawn to? What did you find joy in before the days turned to nights, the nights turned to days, and you began to feel completely drained and defeated? Who do you want to be now? What part of you is itching to make her presence felt in this world?